Not the Onion
Trump declares Department of Defence the Department of WAR
Phew!
It’s so good we have the first standalone FBI office in Wellington to “share resources”
Forget about becoming Australia, we’re going to become the USA! I’m sure those ~$3bn helicopters will come in handy when China attacks.
(Don’t worry, National have committed to $9bn of new money for defence too - Collins still has $9b of new notes to play with)
No ferries or public health or infrastructure, but at least Aotearoa NZ is now “war ready”!
They knew!
I’m so glad we have a sophisticated, competent, mature, prescient government at our helm.
Aren’t you?
This week alone, New Zealand has lost:
Hundreds of jobs from Smiths nationwide
Zespri cut 135 jobs,
Sealord 79
Eyes Valley Sawmill 142
Wellington demolished with 6000 job losses in just a year
Don’t forget construction cut off at the knees in capacity and jobs, losing 18,000 jobs since National took over (thanks again, Mr Bish)
And in this banger of an article, Max Rushbrooke points out National is adding 10.8% to administered inflation (taxes, levies, fees) - going off the good work of The Kākā by Bernard Hickey.
No wonder Nicola Willis is now battling the Taxpayers Union which has now concluded she no longer has much utility.
Good days!
And as I read yesterday, it will be all be a great relief to Monsieur Luxon who can finally leave this “wet, whiney” country and head back to where his heart is - America, land of Department of War.
And to end, let’s admire the final Ode to PM Luxon - The Secret Diary of Luxon’s Last Days:
MONDAY
Thanks for tuning into my Tik Tok! Here I am at arrivals at Auckland International Airport, waiting for a Chinese millionaire investor who wants to buy property in New Zealand now that we’ve relaxed the ban on foreign ownership. Let’s hope he recognises me! But if not, I have a little sign that reads MR LEE.
This could be him now.
No, not him, he’s walked right past.
Here’s another Chinese man. Might be him.
No, he’s gone too.
Well, I’ve got all day, and this is an important trade mission. Scrapping the ban has the potential to raise house prices out of the reach of ordinary Kiwis. And that’s a good thing because ordinary Kiwis are holding us back.
Read the rest here: Newsroom
Remember - you can always trust the National Party. We’re in great hands!
I believe that before 1998 ECNZ made enough profit every year to cover all education and healthcare costs. It was a State Owned Enterprise so the profit went into the government coffers. But shares for the boys would be much more attractive if the Corporation could be split into three separate companies. So that ECNZ goldmine was disbanded - and look at where the profits go now!
21 Kathmandu stores to close also. This government has made bad call after bad call and we are now starting see the results of their work with foreclosures. Let's now see how bad this becomes.